Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize