i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
