I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
