brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Will you blow on my dice?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
