we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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