oh god the rape fog is back!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
