Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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