YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
