another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
