i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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