Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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