Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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