wanna go halves on a baby?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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