Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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