she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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