we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
