I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize