So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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