chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
