Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize