making cat noises will not fix the situation.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
