Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
do nipples grow back?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
