We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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