Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it's like iHOP with fire
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
