He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
