Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
