Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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