U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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