That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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