kristin has been a bad kristin
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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