but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
