I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
