So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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