SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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