Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
