so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
