So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
