hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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