He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
