I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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