Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
