haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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