I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
sex in a hospital.. check
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
