I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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