So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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