I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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