nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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