we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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