the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize