I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
