Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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