i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sober January is a disaster.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
