It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
