you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
