What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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