but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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