He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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