The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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