brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
