I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
