am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
