I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
