im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize