Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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