VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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