i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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