it wasn't lemon gatorade
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize