Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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