wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
