I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
