She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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