It's Friday. Sex?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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